Some people are of the school of thought that you need closure after a break up to truly move on while some other people believe you don’t need closure to move on. I belong to the second group and I will tell you WHY.
Closure to me is an excuse to keep in contact with someone that you can’t let go of. People need closure for different reasons. One, a need to get answers to something that was unclear from the past. Two, looking for forgiveness. Three, hoping that he will come back to his senses.
I can count the number of times I have called an ex to have long phone conversations… you know, talking about all the good times we had in the past and how we should stop fighting and be friends.😣😣😣 I feel like beating myself right now…Looking back, you will always end up feeling stupid when you finally find some sanity.
I feel its’s needines. It’s being desperate. All that does not do anything to bring closure. If you are looking for forgiveness, start by forgiving yourself. Below are 4 reasons why I think you do not really need closure to move on from a break up. Trust me this is not me trying to make breakup seem like its easy, I have been there so I know how it feels…Oya smile, we will be fine last last.
1. YOUR SELF-ESTEEM WILL TAKE A LONG WALK
When someone, especially someone you really loved tell you all the things they don’t like about you or all the things you didn’t do right when the relationship was in motion, you will start thinking of ways to fit into that profile. That is the worse thing you can ever do to yourself. He probably told you lies, he probably met someone else, he probably doesn’t love you and he probably never loved you, “SHIKENA”🤗🤗
Do not give him that much power over you, you have so much to deal with already.
2. YOU MIGHT NEVER MOVE ON
At first it felt like,I was just trying to forgive him, instead of screaming at each other and end up being best enemies. Yea! that was my excuse..Issalie. My dear, you need to best enemies if need be. You can’t be friends. The very moment I cut off all contact, everything and anything that could bring back memories of him. The peace I felt from thence was from another dimension. You need to move on, he is probably in another relationship…happy maybe(who cares)💁💁 you need to be happy too. You might not jump right into another but you should not be deprived of having fun and moving on with your life.
3. ANXIETY WILL CREEP IN
You might become self-concious about all the things your ex told you they didn’t like about you. Those words will keep coming back to hurt you over and over again. Because when you finally try to move on with someone else, you will always wonder if the new peraon will dislike all the same things your ex doesn’t like. This might cause you to be rigid and it will be hard for anyone to get to know you.
4. YOU WILL OVER-ANALYZE
I did this alot, all hail Themie stalker🙄🙄🙄I was always on his page, keeping tabs on him like it’s some project work. There was a time I saw a picture of this beautiful girl on his page…”oh, she has a flat tummy” he must have been put off by my not so flat tummy..These thoughts and more will begin to creep into your mind and it will make you oblivious to all the incredible things that you are.
If your ex wants things to end, then let it end in peace.Closure is not an ultimate search, let the relationship come to a close the moment he decided it was over.
Pick the lesson and MOVE ON.
Do you think we really need closure to move on? Do you think otherwise.
I’d love to hear from you
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